My Game Dev Graveyard
For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to make games. In the late 90’s I discovered QuickBASIC on our family computer. Then in the early aughts I found tools like Klik & Play, Zelda Classic, and RPG Maker. A great many other tools and languages would follow as I proceeded down the path towards my current career as a software engineer, and at every step along the way I would make games.
These games would range the gamut of genres: text adventures, top-down shooters, shmups, mazes, point-and-click adventures, RPGs, strategy games, puzzle games… you name it I’ve probably tried to make it at one point or another. Many I remember, and I’m certain there are many I don’t. But you may notice there is a distinct lack of information on this site about any of them. This is because I’ve never actually finished one.1Well, that’s not strictly true. There are a precious few that I did finish many years ago. Those however were in the days before source control, and even if they weren’t I wouldn’t have been experienced enough to save them anyway. Those few finished games were only ever seen by myself and my family. They never made it beyond the boundaries of the family computer.
This is a fact that in recent years has begun to weigh on me. In the more than two decades I’ve been making games, not one scrap exists that I can show as an accomplishment even as an unfinished prototype. They say getting started is the hardest part, but when it comes to creating I and many others haven’t found that to be true. Like most game developers, authors, artists, etc. I have a veritable graveyard of half-started demos and concepts that will never see the light of day. When it comes to game development, it is well established that finishing is the hardest part. My graveyard just happens to get paved over fairly regularly so I couldn’t dredge things up even if I wanted to.2Which is to say I frequently go back through those concepts, find absolutely nothing of value, and delete them. This is a habit I’m trying to break, but I think going forward my concepts will end up more fully fleshed out such that I won’t feel inclined to delete them in the first place. More on that later.
A few weeks ago I saw a video from game developer and YouTuber HeartBeast titled Gamedev Constraints and New Beginnings. In it, he ruminates on why when he was younger he had no trouble building and releasing games, but as his skills and experience grew he found himself less able to do so. He came to the conclusion that when his skills were less refined they acted as a constraint, limiting what he could produce. Thus, he would build his game to the maximum his skill would allow for and then release. As his skills increased they became less of a limit, and he would spend more and more time trying to reach his vision of the game rather than settle for something else. He theorized that placing artificial limits on himself would help him return to that place where he could release with relative ease once he reached the maximum of what was possible.
I find myself in exactly the same predicament and while I agree completely with his findings, I’m also sure that’s not exactly the same issue I’m facing. I’ve long believed that the complete freedom that comes with having the skills and tools to build the vision you have is what prevents that same vision from being realized and I’ve strived to place constraints on myself for that reason, but still I find that as my skills have grown I’ve found it more and more difficult to be proud of what I’ve built and to be comfortable finishing and releasing anything.
While HeartBeast’s video didn’t give me the answer to my problem, it did get me thinking about the situation and if my problem wasn’t a lack of constraints then what was it? I’ve spent a lot of time contemplating this and trying to narrow in on exactly why I can’t seem to carry any of these projects to completion. I believe I’ve identified it, and the plan I’ve come up with to address it is what led to the creation of this very blog. In the next post I’ll go into what I think the issue is, my plan for addressing it, and why after only two weeks I believe I’m seeing tremendous successes that indicate I’m on the right path!
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